76 people have tested positive for Lassa fever in Edo State following a test carried out on 175 suspected cases in the state. Edo State commissioner of health, Dr Patrick Okundia gave out the figure on Friday January 24, during a Lassa fever committee meeting headed by the State's Deputy […]
A lot of us going into polyamory relationships unknowingly. At first it might start as if it is nothing but gradually it becomes a reality. Polyamory relationships is gradually becoming a trend but comes in a different form. Polyamory is different from cheating on your partner.
Polyamorous relationships are intimate relationships that involve more than two people. A polyamorous relationship might include three or more relatively equal partners in an ongoing romantic emotional relationship either sharing a home or dating. The concept of becoming baby mama to celebrities and at the same time having the opportunity to date two other people is polyamorous in nature. There are also relationships where one or both partners have a more casual relationship ‘on the side.
In polyamory, the partners know about what what is involved unlike cheating or double dating where it involves secrecy. There so many men and women who want to be involved in polyamory affairs. In Nigeria, there is this popular saying “Man no fit dey eat only egusi soup all the time” meaning ” A man cannot be sleeping with the same woman all the time”. In other words, a man should not stick to one partner but have multiple partners.
The real concern is that Are you ready for such a relationship? It is one thing to go into it and its another thing to ensure no one is hurt at the end of the day.To help you decide if a polyamorous relationship is right for you and your partner, start by asking these seven questions:
1. How jealous are you?
Can you really handle seeing your partner date other people? “This is the most obvious question but also the most important and the hardest to answer,”. “Even when a given partner doesn’t want to be jealous or possessive, monogamy is so heavily ingrained in our culture some people just can’t get there.”
To a certain degree, it’s hard to know how you’ll really feel about your partner having another relationship until you dip your toe in the water.
2. Is this something you both want?
Often, one partner is more into the idea of experimenting with the polyamorous lifestyle than the other. If that’s the case, it can cause a problematic power imbalance.
3. What is your (and your partner’s) motivation?
There are a few common goals that signal the arrangement might be a positive experience for you and your partner.
One major one: feeling limited by monogamy. If you and your partner both feel that your monogamous relationship isn’t quite meeting your needs for closeness and intimacy (and that no monogamous relationship really could), it might be a signal that polyamory is a better fit for you.
A good motivation might also be as simple as “wanting more love and intimacy in your life, and wanting to see your partner be happy,”
4. How secure do you feel in your current relationship?
Sharing a partner creates shifts in the dynamic of trust and intimacy. That can be a slippery slope—especially if your relationship isn’t that solid to begin with. There are a few questions you should ask yourself before you test it: Are you and your partner good at resolving fights? Can you easily get on the same page about issues and goals for the relationship? Do you feel secure and not anxious about your partner’s love and commitment?
If the answer to a lot of these questions is no, it might mean your relationship is lacking the foundation necessary for polyamory.
5. What ground rules do you want to establish?
Polyamorous relationships require a lot more negotiating, so you should be prepared to talk out new challenges as they come up. Once things get going, you might find yourself surprised that you aren’t always on the same page with your partner.The best way to stave off these potential conflicts is to set up some guidelines with your partner on the front end. Before starting any new relationships, talk through the logistics: What behaviors are okay? Is anyone off limits? Will you spend time together as a group and meet your partner’s partners?
6. How will trying polyamory affect your future together?
Is polyamory going to be a forever thing? Discuss with your partner whether you intend to shift gears when you have a kid or at another life event in the future. It’s also a good idea to talk about how you’ll handle it if polyamory no longer feels like it’s working for one of you.
There’s no exact science to answering these questions, but if exploring them makes you or your partner uncomfortable in any way, polyamory may not be the right fit for your current relationship—or you.