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The emergence of social media in Nigeria has come with so many advantages as well as disadvantages. One of such disadvantage is in the area of relationship values.
A lot of young girls have lost their value in the sight of men because of social media and also it has also affected the confidence level of most men. Back in the days when there was nothing like the internet and social media, to date a girl of one’s choice needs a lot of practice and skills.
The word commonly used in the wooing game was “Toast” which is different from the original meaning or “Chyke”. To woo a girl depended on confidence, communication skills and good looks. To walk up to a girl in those days in Nigeria was like facing a firing squad for a lot of guys. The fear is mainly that of rejection and also of becoming a laughing stock in the presence of your pals.
Men would purchase books on “How to woo a girl” and study for days before approaching a girl. There are times when you build the confidence and your poor communication skills will be the stumbling block irrespective of your good looks. Girls were respected and valued because every guy knows what it takes to get a girl he desired.
Heartbreaks were not a popular venture. Love and friendship walked hand-in-hand and grew in relationships. The reason for the relationship was established from day one and it grew gradually and organically. Each party learnt about themselves and assisted one another in their behaviors. It was an era where it was more of one-guy-one-girl things. Although there were some few people who were gifted with all three features – confidence, communication skills and good looks.
To take a woman to bed was more of mutual agreement and love than monetary attraction. Women kept themselves. They knew what it meant to lose virginity or sleep with every man that comes their way.
Social media has destroyed all those values. Virtual meetings have made men to hide behind a mobile app to “toast” several women at a time. The confidence level of most men is zero. Communication skills are nothing to write home-about as short-hand writing is what obtains in social media.
There are so many relationships that can kick start within 20 minutes unlike the “toasting” days where it will run for days, weeks or months depending on the people involved. Women in this social media era within days into a relationship send their nude pictures or do live chats in their underwear for as low N1500 airtime recharge card.
Women have become nothing in the eyes of men. They are seen as cheap. Illiterates are dating the best girls without walking up to meet them when you have an android phone and then money to do the rest. Men are changing women the way they change clothes. When you are tired of one woman, all you need is go on social media and get a replacement immediately.
Nigerian girls have thrown caution to the wind. Even when you tell them about their devaluation in the sight of men they will reply “ Na respect I go chop”. In cases where they end up marrying men they met on social platforms and start having marital issues, the next place you will find them is religious places seeking help. There is so much deceit from both men and women on social platforms.
A lot of children are suffering today as a result of social platforms activities. Some women have children for men whom they met on social platforms who have abandoned them. Some women have lost their lives to lifestyle of social platforms. It is so bad that even some married women send their nude pictures to other younger men.
It is not everybody that is on social platform that is bad but it is important to get involved more on the physical platform than virtual platforms. Meet in public places like eateries, restaurant, malls etc. Do not de-value yourself because of money. Nobody will respect you, if you don’t respect yourself.