Uju came crying. She has been dating Alfred for 6 months and then he woke up one day and said it was over. This was the 5th boyfriend in a space of two years. Some of her friends had told her that it was spiritual and that there are certain ointments she can purchase to hold down a guy when her 4th boyfriend had left her. She had purchased the ointments and used it but yet to no avail as Alfred only lasted 6 months.
I sat her down and asked her just this question – In all your other relationships, apart from the sex and material things what did you gain or what value did you add to the guy’s life? She was not expecting such a question. After 20 minutes, she replied “NOTHING I CAN THINK OF”.
There are so many relationships out there that is laid on the foundation of just sex and material things. Once you take that away, it is empty. One thing most young ladies think is that once you offer a guy good sex then that is all that matters. The criteria a man who is ready to settle down to choose a wife is different from that he applies when he is looking for a “Babe”. Relationship is not all about external beauty but more of internal beauty. Giving a man things that is money can buy such as washing his clothes, cooking his meals, giving him sex is not enough to hold him because he can get all these things elsewhere.
When you add values such as good business ideas, spiritual values, moral values, economic values to a man, he will find it hard to discard you. Values are very important to men because it helps them to become better part of themselves. For example a man who is a spendthrift will treasure a woman who helps him to save his money and then discovers why he needs to have a savings. A lot of women will help the man to squander his life and the moment the man discovers, he will run away.
Any man who value is been added to his life and still runs after other women already has a problem with himself. In the same vein men are to add value to the lives of their girlfriends. Tobi was a guy who tried his best to make his girlfriend Bimpe of 10 years become independent but to no avail. He had started dating her from their university days and when they both left school, he enrolled her in an advertising academy and paid all fees. When she finished, she said wanted to learn Catering which he also paid for. He encouraged her to start up something but she refused and on two occasions tried to help her get a job through friends but she was not willing to work. To Bimpe, Tobi would not dare leave her because of his love for her superb waist and sex which she never starved him of.
It was the biggest shocker of her life when Tobi told her it was all over. In less than two years, the Tobi got married to another girl who did not possess half of the beauty and lovely stature Bimpe was blessed with.
So what value are you adding to your lover that will make him/her not to abandon you for someone else? In customer service, there is a saying that says “if you do not take care of your customer, someone else will help you take care of them”. You need to start looking at what you are not doing right.