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Spiritual In-laws

Memoirs of Krakpor

Spiritual In-laws

After a long while of not going to the church because of all the issue and talk of tithes or no tithes I made up my mind to attend one. For three Sundays, I took my time to look at all the churches in my area. I did not enter any of the churches at all. I will just go and sit down nearby and be scrutinizing the kind of people entering the church.

After I have done a sample of like 20 churches, I finally settled for one new church. I asked some of my friends about the church and they said the Pastor is a very young and vibrant chap that has the word. He sees your future and can tell you what your problem is. With the good account from my friends, I finally said I will launch my visit to the church on the first Sunday of the month.

On that day, I woke up at 6am to get myself prepared as the service starts by 9am. I looked at my wardrobe-Chai! No corporate clothes. All I got there was jeans and T-shirts. After rummaging through my clothes, I finally saw one trouser that has lost nutrients. I managed to see a shirt then a “lazer”. I chose to call it a lazer because; it has evolved from blazer to something else. It was looking weak and deadly due to age and overuse. It was the only surviving member from my graduation suit some years ago.

You did be wondering why I didn’t wear my jeans and T-shirt. I was told that it was a church for corporate people and Krakpor needs to be corporate since I have re-branded. By 9:45am, you need to see me in my corporate suit with my weather beaten “Monstersin” shoes. When I bought it back then , it was called moccasin shoes but right now it was looking re-branded but like Nigerians will say “I no send, na God I dey go worship”. I almost turned back on the way when the frogs in a nearby pond came out and my inner spirit began to interpret their croak sound as “Pass quick! Pass quick!” due to the smell and sight of my shoes but “ I no send”

The church service had already began when I entered but I came when the action started- prophesy time. The pastor was moving from one member to another as the spirit led him. Members started screaming, messages started coming out and the whole arena changed.

The pastor saw me and merely looking at my worn-out lazer and monstersin shoes, he concluded that this man must have been in bondage. He pointed his fingers in my direction and called out to me “Come here brother”. I turned around to see if it was someone else and I saw the wall. I was the last person. Two ushers brought me to the front. He looked at me from my head down to my shoes and said

“The problem to your poverty is your in-laws”.

“In-laws? Pastor, are you sure I am the right person” I asked with anger burning inside me.

“Yes, you are the person. The spirit never lies” He replied

“But Pastor, I am not yet married. So which in-law? I asked him

“I mean your spiritual in-laws from your spiritual wife”

I didn’t know when I burst into laughter. This man’s prophesy just made me to remember an event exactly like this that I witnessed years back. I will tell you that story next time. Remind me.

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