“What can he play now, na?” a doubtful UNIBEN female student nudged her friend when Wilfred Agharite, a visually impaired, Youth Corps member and alumnus of the University of Benin (BENIN), stepped behind the turntable. They were at the MTN Pulse Talks Series holding in […]
I had gone to visit my friend during the week because he was on leave and found that he was the only one at home. I asked him where his kids are and he replied “They have gone to summer school. Their wahala (trouble) is too much”. I was surprised. Schools were still on holidays. On the wall of his sitting room, there is a picture of himself, his wife and two children in a photo shoot. These two lovely kids are what he called “Wahala”(trouble).
Who are you deceiving with a photo shoot if you are not there for the kids?
A lot of Nigerian parents have severed the bond between them and their children especially the ones in business cities like Lagos. Parents will leave for work as early as 5am without seeing their kids only to come back late in the night by 10pm when they have slept. At times, parents will wake up the kids by 5am for school bus to come and pick them by 6am for school. On weekends when you will think that the parents will have time for family bonding with their either of the parent will be going for one training or the other. In some cases, the father will prefer to hang out with his friends to watch football matches in a bar and the mother will go to parties. Holidays when parents are supposed to have time with their kids, they push them back to school denying them rest. Some will bundle them to live with grandparents or some distant relatives.
I begin to wonder, why bring these kids into this world when you know you will not have time for them? A lot parents have mortgaged the future of their children to nannies, school teachers and society. Nobody to add proper values to their lives and teach them about life. The present generations of children do not have friends on their street or even the premises they live because they either locked indoors or are still in school learning with pains and stress.
The British who brought formal education knew why they fashioned holidays into the school curriculum. They knew the brain needs to relax for a certain period of time. School opens 8am and close 12:30pm. Children are to go home and have a nap and play at home. This is not the case today; instead children are being forced into educational slavery because the parents are hustling for them.
Earlier this year, a 19 year old student lost her life while trying to abort an unwanted pregnancy she had for the proprietor of her school in my area. It was after the death that other students started confessing that they were sexually abused by the same man but they could not tell their parents because they were not always around and they had no close relationship with them. Some children live the life of orphans despite the fact that both parents are alive.
Schools will soon resume and most parents are happy that the “Wahalas” are gone. Is it not sad that parents are even posting their little kids pictures on social media that the teachers should come and take away their children? If you have been there for your kids to teach them about responsibility and manners, will they misbehave? If your kids suddenly become monkeys hanging on your television set or jumping on the chairs, then it is your fault for not telling them that that they are humans and not animals. There is a limit to what nannies or teachers can do.
One of the dangers of this attitude of pushing your kids into the hands of others is lost of trust. Your kids will learn things that will have impact on their lives whether negative or positive. They will only see you as fund provider but never as a friend or even a parent. Another danger is lack of bond. Most children do not have any relationship bond with their parents because they were never there for them. Some children lack self esteem and confidence to face the outside world. They are scared because they are always tucked away from others. They are always indoors and never allowed to go outside. In some cases, as they grow up they learn to engage in exploring their bodies the wrong way and end up as either lesbians or homosexuals. Some may engage in incest. A lot of kids have ended in prison or become slaves to drug use because of bad influence and lack of parental guidance.
The schools will open again, and you are happy that the wahala will be going away. The wahala is not now. The real wahala will start when your children turn 15 and begin make decisions like adults and by then you will be saying it is spiritual attack.